Inside Helen Maroulis’s Grueling Struggle to Overcome Brain Trauma and Return for the Tokyo Olympics – Sports Illustrated

Helen Maroulis was a shy seven-year-old kid growing up in Maryland when her younger sibling, an ambitious wrestler, needed a sparring partner. She hit the mat with him in her pink ankle socks, starting a wild journey that ultimately took her to the 2016 Olympics– where she ended up being the first ever female wrestler to win gold for the U.S. Now she wants to win it once again.
” I believe I can make it all the way,” she says, describing her hopes for the Olympics in Tokyo, which have been held off to next July due to the coronavirus. She is well on her way, having actually received the finals of the U.S. Olympic Team Trials. However getting to this point has actually been a battle– among numerous over her lifetime.
Her story is among sensational perseverance through a series of obstructions that would have stopped a less driven athlete, beginning with the time she was a child, wrestling against kids in the middle of an absence of groups for girls. Most just recently, the 28-year-old Olympian has actually had to battle her method back from injury and brain trauma that actually altered her character for a time.
Maroulis is refreshingly sincere about the psychological and physical obstacles she has actually faced. She states she wants kids to comprehend that Olympic athletes are human. “I utilized to believe Olympians had superpowers,” she states.
Her newest– and perhaps most challenging– battle began in 2018.
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Early that year, at a three-week international fumbling league in India, she knocked heads with an opponent. Later, feeling off-kilter, she wondered whether she had a broken nose, or jet lag from the long-haul flight, or possibly a concussion. If she did have a concussion, she thought she understood what to anticipate, as she had experienced one in 2015 that she had actually rapidly gotten rid of.
She tried to rest as much as possible, but after her 3rd match, she felt disoriented and knew something was wrong. She asked to see a doctor, who provided her some medications that he said were for queasiness. The pills left her feeling “out of it,” she states, unable to think straight.
“She didnt look like herself,” he states. I said and called to stop; I texted her coach and stated somethings incorrect with her.”
One recommended her not to continue, while the other stated she could keep going if a physician monitored her. She kept in touch with the Indian doctor and invested much of the next couple of weeks sleeping, not battling. In retrospect, Maroulis says that throughout her experience, it was as if she were in a state of delirium.
When she went back to the States, she sought advice from specialists, who officially identified her with a concussion. But this concussion turned out to be extremely various from the moderate one in 2015. In addition to causing tiredness and level of sensitivity to light and sound, it impacted the part of the brain that controls feelings, modifying her character. A self-described “very emotional” individual prior to the concussion, she found herself becoming “rational and super-direct,” she states. She recalls that a physician informed her, “I can get you back physically, however I cant ensure your character will ever go back to typical.”
“It was like I would turn a switch and end up being a different individual,” she states. “I felt like I wanted to rip the Air conditioning out of the wall, or put a knife through my head.”
With the assistance of specialists from across the country, she immersed herself in an intensive physical and mental treatment program– including noise-canceling earphones, unique vision-correction glasses, a gluten-free diet, supplements such as fish oil and sessions with a psychologist. The regimen was all-encompassing. She had to wear the earphones around the clock– and ultimately, she had to wean herself from them. “I would try to opt for 5 minutes at a coffeehouse without them, then go home and see if I had signs,” she states.
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She was cleared to resume training, then got walloped with another concussion and a neck injury while sparring with an aggressive male coach, she states, resulting in serious vertigo and issues with her autonomic anxious system. “While raising weights, if I strained my neck, I would have these episodes where I would hyperventilate, shake and sob, however I didnt have any feeling toward it,” she states. “I didnt know what was going on.”
Sport psychologists provided her the diagnosis that assisted her put whatever into context: She had post distressing stress condition.
She understood she remained in for a significant battle.
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Maroulis discovered from an early age that she would need to fight difficult if she desired to pursue wrestling. “Coaches would put their best people on me,” she states.
As a kid, she didnt recognize the coaches were attempting to press her out. “I just believed I needed to improve” to contend with the very best, she states. “But my mother saw what was going on, and she called another gym. They stated, We dont train girls. It was hard for them to think that a girl could do what a person might do. Its a macho, manly man sport.”
Wrestling gave her self-confidence in a way that other sports she had attempted– swimming, ballet– did not. “I knew from age eight that I desired to be an Olympic champ,” she states, even though femaless wrestling was not yet an Olympic sport.
Maroulis joined the fitness center and continued to wrestle against kids, growing ever stronger. The kids didnt appear to mind training with her, for the many part, she says, remembering that numerous of them didnt share her lofty career objectives. “A lot of the kids said, My fathers making me do this,” she says.
In 2004, when she was 13, femaless wrestling became an Olympic sport. “I might see individuals that looked like me,” she states.
Her parents cheered her on. For her father, the sport was individual. When he initially concerned America as a child, the other kids bullied him for being an immigrant. “They stated, Look at the imports!” he says. “My good friends looked the other way, but not me– I needed to say something back.” Battles occurred, and in high school, he took up battling to defend himself. He wound up enjoying the sport. “I really got into it,” he says. “The confidence wrestling provides you is extraordinary.” He went on to battle at neighborhood college for 2 years, before introducing his own business as a federal government professional. Later on, his 2 sons and daughter all took up the sport, but his child is the one who ran with it.
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In high school, Maroulis signed up with the young boys team considering that there was no team for ladies, dealing with more challenges. For one, she says, a top wrestler on the group refused to train with her due to the fact that his girlfriend didnt believe it was appropriate for him to wrestle with a woman. Maroulis stood out, ending up being the very first lady to position at the Maryland state wrestling championships as a freshman in 2006.
Other high school teams discovered her success– and refused to take on her. “My sophomore year, everyone surrendered versus me,” Maroulis states of the other groups. “They didnt want their guys to lose to me.” She just grew stronger. “I wouldnt desire that experience for any lady, for sure, however I used that experience to assist shape me,” she says. “Those were obstacles that primed me.”
She searched for colleges with womens battling teams, competing initially as a student at Missouri Baptist University and later at Simon Fraser University in Canada. In 2011, she won a gold medal at the Pan American Games in Guadalajara, Mexico, continuing a long-running win streak that made her a leading competitor for the 2012 U.S. Olympic group. Her commitment was about to settle.
And then, a terrible blow: She failed to make the group, losing in an achingly close last. The loss was crushing. “Wrestling was my identity,” Maroulis states. “It identified my self-worth.” The coaches asked her to serve as a training partner for the woman who beat her, Kelsey Campbell, to assist her prepare for the Games.
Having actually come so close to her dream, just to be asked to help train the individual who beat her, left her feeling “damaged,” she states. A coach told her, You will get there. It became a defining minute for me.”
She trained difficult with Campbell and traveled to the 2012 Olympics in London, acquiring point of view on her life. “As difficult as it was for me, it was similarly recovery,” she says. “I believed, This is simply a sport. Why would I desire this sport to specify me?” She regrouped and set her sights on the 2016 Games.
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Over the next four years, Maroulis trained diligently and stuck to a rigorous diet– mostly chicken and spinach– to shed pounds to make the 53-kilogram Olympic weight class, because her prior weight, 55 kgs, wasnt an Olympic class. “It was a 24-7, seven-day-a-week task, consuming the exact same things every day and grinding it out,” she says.
Her last challenger: Saori Yoshida of Japan, an enforcing three-time safeguarding Olympic champion who had won 13 successive world titles. I said: No, Helen. Go for it.”
She did, ending Yoshidas incredible streak to end up being the very first female wrestler in the U.S. to take house an Olympic gold medal. “To beat a legend, that was one of the finest days of my life,” she says. “You cant actually duplicate that.”
“Everyone on the island, all the people came down cheering her as the boat came in,” he states. “I left this island when I was a little young boy, when there was no electrical energy or running water on the island,” he says, remembering how he had to find out an entire brand-new world when he came to America, consisting of learning to speak English. Says her daddy, “They really enjoy her there.”
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In 2017, Maroulis was at the top of her video game. On the heels of her historical Olympic win, she controlled at the world champion in Paris, preventing her opponents from scoring a single point against her as she recorded her second world title. In 2018, came the crash of the concussions and the diagnosis of PTSD.
“They wanted me to keep retelling the story of what happened to me; I was reliving it,” she says, which was painful and discouraging. At first, she wanted to blame individuals for what had actually happened to her, however she discovered to move forward from those feelings and focus on recovery. “They helped me work through it,” she states.
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Its common for athletes to experience PTSD from injuries, says Shari Botwin, a New Jersey– based therapist and the author of Thriving After Trauma. “Elite professional athletes have additional pressures due to the fact that of the expectations of their coaches, fans, sponsors and sometimes their households,” she says. Their identity and role in their sport feels taken.
After going to the treatment center, Maroulis thought about taking a year off and investing it with family on the quiet island of Kalamos. She chose to contend at the 2018 world championship in Budapest rather, thinking that if she didnt, she would never ever battle again. In retrospection, she states, it was premature. She ended up seriously hurting a shoulder in a first-round match. It became another important pivotal moment in her life.
” Finally I had something on the exterior that showed how damaged I was on the inside,” she says. “Finally I had to sit and deal with all this stuff. I understood, you cant just wrestle your method out of this.”
She continued treatment for PTSD and moved home with her parents in Maryland in December 2019 to give herself the time to rest and recover, turning to dance instead of wrestling. Says her father, “We informed her, Come house, youre going to be with your household. Forget the gold medals. This is about your health. You dont need to show anything.”.
Maroulis credits her family, and her faith in God, with assisting her find a course towards recovery. “I understood it wasnt about pressing through; it had to do with releasing,” she says. “You need to release whatever and let yourself recover.”.
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Botwin says this realization is crucial to recovery. “When you understand you require to stop and acknowledge the physical and emotional implications of your injury, you start the process of recovery from PTSD,” she says. “Wrestling through discomfort without understanding it or discovering how to deal with it inevitably results in more years of injury. Helens story is so essential because she is modeling the value of sitting with her emotions as part of her healing.”.
When Maroulis enabled herself the time and area to recover, she realized she wasnt done with battling simply yet– she didnt want to regret leaving the sport prior to she felt truly ready. And so, she returned to competition this past February and won a wrestle-off to go to the Pan American Olympic Qualifier in March.
” I train differently now. Its constantly about my health,” she states. “There are specific things I will never ever press through. A lot of individuals believe about what they need to do in training to be all set for competitors, however I focus on how my body feels and how I can remain healthy.”.
She highlights that she is sharing her personal story due to the fact that she desires young athletes to know that they are not alone in the battles they deal with, and that their health and well-being are paramount. “At the end of the day, sport is about discovering to grow as a private, developing your character,” she states. “Its not about feeling you should do whatever it takes to get a medal.”.
She states her numerous hard-won fights over the years have actually reinforced and prepared her like never ever in the past. “I like battling and I feel much better now than ever,” she states.
When it comes to the hold-up in the Olympic Games, she is unfazed. “I do not fear time,” she says. “Ive had my dreams postponed previously.”.

I said and called to stop; I texted her coach and said somethings wrong with her.”
In retrospect, Maroulis states that throughout her experience, it was as if she were in a state of delirium.
“A lot of the kids stated, My dads making me do this,” she says. “My sophomore year, everyone surrendered versus me,” Maroulis says of the other teams. “Wrestling was my identity,” Maroulis states.