“It’s freezing cold,” said Ms. Kiernan, a former beauty editor who lives in Freehold, N.J., with Mr. Kaplan, his mother and his two children from a former marriage. “I don’t know that I want to go outside with a blanket to eat. I’m happy just ordering pizza and I’ll tell them to put the pepperoni in the shape of a heart in the middle of it. We’ll open a really nice bottle of wine and sit by the fire and just look at each other and thank each other for being able to make it through this year.”
Dr. Carly Snyder, a New York-based psychiatrist specializing in women’s mental health, believes that the reality of spending almost every waking moment with your partner has made people want to do anything but that. “No one ever signed up to have truly intertwined lives in the way that we’ve had, and that’s stressful and hard,” she said.
Dr. Snyder has been married almost 15 years. She’s planning on giving her three young kids chocolate, and that’s pretty much it. “It’s kind of a silly holiday for anyone who’s in a long-term relationship,” she said.
Having said that, she acknowledged that it would be nice to show extra love and support right now. “Maybe it’s a good excuse to make a show of it for your partner, because it’s not easy and you spend so much time together,” she said. “Give your partner a hug. Give your friend a hug.” She paused. “Well, no, don’t give your friend a hug.”
Kate Casey, host of the podcast “Reality Life with Kate Casey,” has spent the pandemic quarantining with her husband of 14 years, Dan Rodrigues, and their five children. Cupid won’t be visiting their home in Newport Beach, Calif.
“I hate the idea that anyone has an expectation or obligation to buy a present to prove their love,” said Ms. Casey in an email typical of her sarcastic wit. “I have pushed those five kids out of my vagina. I should be celebrated 365 days a year, not just on Valentine’s Day.”
Amy Van Doran, a matchmaker in New York, suggests sharing the love on Feb. 14.
“Send your girlfriends, mom, anyone you love some flowers, or a thoughtful treat,” she said. “No matter how intellectually dumb we think Valentine’s Day is, it never offends anyone to be thought of, especially during a loneliness pandemic.”
