Arsenal v Brighton, Southampton v Chelsea and more, football clockwatch – live! – The Guardian

Time to turn to the Grand National. There’s a horse in it called Domaine De L’Isle (hat tip: my nephew Arthur). According to the betting, it’s a no-hoper, but I feel obliged to cheer it on. For more informed updates, click here.

That’s it from me. Thanks for your company, correspondence and comments on the validity of Martinelli’s disallowed goal. See you tomorrow for the next relegation arm-wrestle, Norwich v Burnley.

Back to the Dundee derby. “United still undefeated against Dundee at Tannadice since 2004,” says Simon McMahon, “though they tried their best to remedy that by throwing away a two-goal lead. Finished 2-2, and United secure a top-six place.”

“United so bad, Arsenal bottling it,” says Gary Neville on Twitter. “Over to you Spurs.”

Brighton cling on! And Arsenal lose two in a row. So they don’t make Man United pay for their defeat, but they do hand Spurs a huge opportunity.

Arsenal 1-2 Brighton Save! By Martinez, from Nketiah. Block! By someone else. Ramsdale is in Brighton’s box.

Arsenal 1-2 Brighton They’re having six minutes of added time, so about two to go. Odegaard sees another opening but can’t quite find Saka.

Game over, and season over, very possibly, for Watford. They still can’t do anything at home.

It was a rout for an hour, then a 0-0 draw.

A twist! Odegaard hits the woodwork, then finds the net, with help from a deflection. And we have a home goal at last.

“It is like an identity switch farce at the Emirates,” says Jeremy Dresner. “The team with something to fight for – flat, limp, uninspired, insipid. The team with nothing to play for – spunky, combative, slick. Do these guys even look at the league table?”

Southampton 0-6 Chelsea Something has gone terribly wrong with Chelsea. They haven’t scored for half an hour.

“Just to throw fuel on the fire,” says Martin Crookall, “does anyone really want to start adding another subjective factor – i.e. does it matter? – into the offside rule?”

Leeds are on fire! Jack Harrison, so prolific this year, makes sure of the win with a blast from the left. Leeds now have 33 points this season and ten of them have come from the past four games. Jesse Marsch, take a bow.

David de Gea has called Manchester United’s performance today “a disgrace”. Full story here from Andy Hunter.

Arsenal 0-2 Brighton Arsenal have had one shot on target in 75 minutes. Plus the disallowed header from Martinelli, which we will surely be hearing more about. And to add to Arsenal’s woes, Tariq Lamptey is coming on, replacing the scorer of the second goal, Mwepu.

“Chelsea fans chanting Roman Abramovich’s name,” says the football writer John Aizlewood on Twitter. “They sure can read a room.”

Watford 0-2 Leeds The second goal came from a cock-up at the back involving Kamara and Samir, who conspired to leave Rodrigo with only Ben Foster to beat.

Coming up: Villa-Spurs It’s the 5.30pm game, and Barry Glendinning is on the MBM for us.

The nightmare gets worse. “Game over,” says Sky’s Clinton Morrison.

Watford 0-1 Leeds If Watford’s season were a movie, it would be Nightmare At Vicarage Road. They’ve had more shots than Leeds (8-5), and more clear-cut chances (2-0), but only one of those eight has been on target.

A screamer on the half-volley from Enock Mwepu! And Arsenal’s week is going from bad to awful.

All three of these games are past the hour now, and we still don’t have a single home goal. You have to feel for the crowds.

“It always tickles me,” says Charlie Robinson, “seeing football fans tying themselves in knots trying to justify criticism of whatever decision goes against their team. Once you’ve typed out words such as ‘While the Arsenal goal may have been correctly ruled offside…’ or ‘it’s likely that Martinelli was a hair offside…’, you should probably read those words back to yourself and consider very carefully whether you want to continue the point by arguing that the goal should have stood.”

“Shock transfer,” says Ben Hayes, picking up on my post from 16:11. “Not surprised that Chelsea are stuffing Saints if they’ve signed Harry Kane.” Ha, sorry, I meant Kane. Will tweak it now.

Watford 0-1 Leeds Big chance for Watford! They’ve been better since half-time, but when the chance comes, to Ismaila Sarr, he has all the old pros in the BT studio holding their heads in their hands.

Southampton 0-6 Chelsea It really could have been worse: Chelsea have had 13 shots on target, and three off target – those must be the three from Werner that hit the woodwork. Southampton have managed one shot on target, three off. They made another change at half-time, by the way: Diallo for Adam Armstrong. And Thomas Tuchel sent on Pulisic for Havertz.

Are you a lawyer, I asked Alex Whitney a few minutes ago. “A quick glance at my (mostly) empty billfold confirms that, indeed, no I’m not,” he replies. “I’m a public school teacher. Almost as close as Martinelli to being onside.” Oof.

Anything Werner can do, Mount can do too. He gets his second and at this rate, Southampton might settle for another 9-0.

More of the same! Made by Kante, who drew a parry from Forster, giving Werner a tap-in.

Arsenal 0-1 Brighton Mikel Arteta, who is not shy of a half-time shake-up, has switched to a back three,. Bakayo Saka has moved to right wing-back.

“While the Arsenal goal may have been correctly ruled offside,” says Robert Speed, “one does need to ask if the offside rule is fit for purpose in that instance. Martinelli and about 4 Brighton defenders are within a few feet of the goal-line, and when Martinelli heads the ball he’s well in front of those 4 Brighton defenders. People love to argue about the complexity of the rule, but in that case (and many others) it has a bit of a nonsensical outcome. Martinelli was not gaining any advantage whatsoever.” Ah, the spirit rather than the letter. It ought to count for something, but I’m not sure it does.

As things stand, Chelsea are on 62 points and Arsenal on 55, both from 30 games. Spurs, also on 30, are a point behind Arsenal; they play later at Villa Park. Man United, on 51 points from 31 games, are seventh, below West Ham on goal difference.

At the other end of the table, Watford are 19th on 23 points from 31 games, a point behind Burnley (who have two games in hand). Everton, after 30 games, are 17th on 28 points, three behind Leeds but with two games in hand. This is all assuming our 3pm matches stay as they are, which, in two cases out of three, may well be premature.

“I do think it’s likely that Martinelli was a hair offside,” says Alex Whitney, “but I don’t see how you overturn something when it’s not clear and obvious (at least from any angle we could see). The potential to set a dangerous precedent when disallowing something seemingly based on an educated guess is a concern.” Are you, by any chance, a lawyer?

“I’ve often wondered,” says Peter Oh, “why iPhone users are so dogmatic about the supposed superiority of their product over all others. The dots over the n thing does go some way toward clarifying things. But as long as I can tap out (Pervis, Villareal left-back) Estupiñán on my humble phone I won’t feel like I’m missing out. Anyway, how are AЯsenal doing?” Ouch.

It’s been a rout at St Mary’s and it could have been even worse. Timo Werner has hit the woodwork three times and Fraser Forster, according to Sky’s Paul Merson, “has made two unbelievable saves”.

Brighton hang onto their slender lead, with a little help from the VAR. And we still haven’t had a home goal since Anthony Gordon’s winner at Goodison Park.

Watford are still in the mire, thanks to Raphinha’s strike that went in off the post.

The check is a long one … the boos are ringing out … and the decision is … offside! It took three minutes, 40 seconds.