If you’re desperately trying to stay afloat in the churning ocean of information and ephemera that young people seem to swim in so effortlessly, please enjoy my meager attempt at a life raft. This week, a killer from OnlyFans bobbed to the surface, as did a perplexing hand gesture, an alternative use for pregnancy tests, and an explanation for what the hell is happening in Elden Ring.
The OnlyFans Killer: Influencer Courtney Clenney kills boyfriend
Instagram and OnlyFans model Courtney Clenney has become massively internet-famous for the worst reason: She stabbed her boyfriend Christian “Toby” Obumseli to death in their Miami high-rise apartment recently. Clenney, known as Courtney Tailor online, maintains that the stabbing was in self-defense. Clenney told police that Obumseli pushed her to the ground and grabbed her neck before she stabbed him to death. The model was not arrested. Instead, she was questioned by police (as you can see in this video posted by TMZ in which a blood-splattered Clenney is interrogated) and taken to a mental institution. She has since been released, and no charges have been filed, but authorities say the investigation is ongoing. In lieu of a prison sentence, Clenney is being chased out of hotel bars by people who recognize her and are not fans, as you can see on this video.
Why are people holding up four fingers in photos?
Young people are, apparently, posing for photographs holding up four fingers, a posing trend that is not as annoying as the duckface thing that caught on in the early 2000s, nor as disturbing as the white supremacy OK gesture popular more recently. What “putting your fours up” actually means is open to debate. Rapper DaBaby mentioned the gesture in a 2019 interview but didn’t explain it. Users of Urban Dictionary and Reddit classify the gesture as a gang sign. A more wholesome explanation comes from football, where the gesture is used to indicate “It’s the fourth quarter. Let’s go!” No matter what “putting your fours up” means, if you’re over a certain age, you should not try to be cool by posing with your fours up. It’s only okay for you if you’re going for a “dorky, anti-cool” thing or trying to signal a waitress so you can pick up the check.
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TikTok hand signal saves life
Speaking of four-fingered hand gestures popular online, a woman in Tennessee reports that her life was saved because she flashed a widely-spread-online silent distress signal to a stranger. The unnamed woman says she was kidnapped by an ex-boyfriend who kept her trapped in his truck and threatened to kill her. The pair stopped at a gas station, and the victim showed the clerk her palm and closed her fingers over her thumb. The clerk recognized the gesture and called authorities, who arrested 31 year-old Johnathon Smith for kidnapping and domestic assault.
Teens warned not to eat pregnancy tests
According to both medical doctors and the police, it’s actually a bad idea to take apart a home pregnancy tests and eat the disc within it. The strange warning comes after a TikTok video (since removed) claimed that home pregnancy test kits contain a plan-B pill. They do not. They contain a disc of silica that prevents moisture.“Bro, no. Do not eat the tablets you find in pregnancy tests,” said Dr Karan Rajan in a response on TikTok. “They are not a ‘Plan B’ or an emergency contraceptive.”
Dr. Rajan’s warning was reiterated by the manufacturer of the pregnancy test in the original video, ClearBlue. “We are aware of videos circulating about Clearblue pregnancy tests and the tablet found inside. Clearblue pregnancy tests do NOT contain Plan B,” the company posted on its website.
Viral video of the week: Elden Ring Lore: Explained
I’m about 80 hours into epic role-playing game Elden Ring, and I have a confession to make: I have absolutely no idea what is going on. I don’t know what the “two fingers” are, why I should care about “The Erdtree,” or why everyone I meet instantly tries to murder me. That’s where this week’s viral video comes in. YouTuber VaatiVidya has taken a deep-dive into Elden lore, with Elden Ring Lore: Explained, a half-hour explainer that breaks down the complicated, weird-as-hell backstory of the Elden Ring universe in an understandable way. VaatVidja is great at making something complex make sense. I want him to explain every aspect of the modern world to me in his mellow, mildly British drawl.
